I'm horrible at blogging.

I've come to realize how very bad I am at blogging.  I thought I'd do this biweekly or at least once a month.  I can't even do that.  Life is going at a blazing speed and I'm just hanging on for dear life.  Today I'm putting on the breaks and trying to write down a few things so that I can look back one day and say...."yeah, I remember that."  It's been about 3 months since I last wrote.  Elaina is 17 months and growing like a weed.  I can honestly say I want things to slow down.  There are days she seems like such a mini grown-up that it makes me cry.  Even though my heart yearns for those quieter moments there is nothing quite like a momma's pride when her little bunny takes a giant leap forward in life.  Elaina  never wanted to snuggle as a baby but a few months ago she started to seek out snuggles from mom and dad....even if it was in the middle of the night.  It was hard for us to try and let our champion sleeper "cry it out" instead of rocking her to sleep.  It wasn't just me that caved on any given night!!!  We realized quickly that we couldn't let the "snuggles" happen at 3am no matter HOW much we delighted in them. Ben said how hard it has become to walk away when she is leaning over the side of the crib when you answer her yells and she immediately stops crying and coos and say's "da dee".  If kids only knew how "on the verge" we are of letting them get away with just about anything at 3am in the morning they'd never give up! LOL.   These days I find myself trying to get housework and errands done in between keeping up with a bouncing toddler.  To say I am tired at the end of the day is to put it loosely.  I really am looking forward to the days where she can understand that mommy needs a break and understands it doesn't mean the world is ending because of that.  Elaina is a fairly quiet child but the vocabulary is starting even if most things still sounds like "da".  She says momma and daddy, "da" for down and "da" for up, cha KA (for chaco), "ket" for hobbes (kitty), "eese" for cheese, and "eese" for please, hi is very clear, and "ah" for bye.  She can moo and quack but never when you ask for her to do it.  Recently she has started to show her bashfulness around groups of people.  Hiding her head and ducking into our shoulders.  I'm not sure which is better....this or staring at them like she use to do. 

Ben's schedule has been pretty heavy at work and he gets very little time with her during the week.  We try to keep a fri or sat free to spend it as a family but it seems there is always something that sneaks in.  Thankfully the holidays are passed and things should breath a little bit easier around here. 

Over Christmas the whole family was in town and Elaina and her cousin Caleb has a LOT of fun playing together.  For some reason, when Elaina is with Caleb, she grows in leaps and bounds and trying things she never has done before.  She is with other kids, including her other cousins but I think it's the 24/7 of being around him for several days straight that helps with it. 

Christmas is always hard for me because Mom and I did SO much together from thanksgiving to Christmas.  We loved to decorate and get our Christmas trees and shop for presents.  It's such an enormous hole that is there for me.  For some reason, I felt it more this year then any of the years past.  I know that this is part of God's plan...there is no doubt.....and I cling to that during the dark moments. Speaking of mom, the most amazing gift was giving to me this Christmas.  I hope to remember to post a pic at the bottom of this blog.  The background to this is that my mom LOVED to cross stitch.  Even after she lost the use of her arm so learned how to do it with her right hand.  I remember someone giving me a beautiful cross stitch framed for my bridal shower and on the back it said "This is in honor of your mom who would do this if she could."  What they didn't know is....she was working on one and did give Ben and I a cross stitched marriage "announcement".  It probably took her double the time the one she did for Bruce and Greta but that didn't hold her back.  After mom passed we found completed cross stitched pictures and sayings that she had been working on.  Things for friends and family for "down the rd".  I didn't see all of them but I know that Dad has been working on framing some of them and presenting them to people he knew Mom had in mind when she worked on them.  Apparently, even though at the time, neither Greta nor I were pregnant mom had completed a cross stitch.  It was done in pink which was the luck of the draw because it could of just as easily been blue and then Bruce and Greta would have received it.  Most of you are familiar with the saying.

Sometimes you get discouraged,
because I am so small
And leave my little fingerprints
On furniture and walls.
But everyday I'm growing
And soon will be so tall
That all these little fingerprints
Will be difficult to recall.
So here's a little handprint
That you can put away
So you will know how my fingers looked
That you can put away
So you will know how my fingers looked
On this special day.

Mom had cross stitched this in pink.  Dad and Dana matted it and got Elaina to put a pink hand print at the bottom of the mat.  The gift was from "Elaina".  To have something my mother did.....without her ever having knowledge of elaina.......with Elaina's handprint was the most precious gift.   Mom didn't have a clue, I'm sure, when she did the cross stitch but God did and it shows how much He cares about me.  Dad still needs to finish the back of the frame but I can't wait to put it up.  What a story I will be able to tell elaina as she grows up.  That it was a gift from her and her grandma....and that I know, that if she accepts the gift of salvation, she'll get to meet that grandma one day.  
It brought me closer to understanding that God doesn't forget and that He has a plan for everything.....even something as simple as a mother working on cross stitch for "someone" with a little girl down the rd.  If mom only had known.......

Our "Christmas" .  She did really well opening gifts

She now loves to ROCK

Family pic on Christmas day

Caleb and Elaina enjoying Elaina's sled that Uncle Bruce, Aunt Greta, and
 Caleb had gotten her.  Now all we need is some snow!

Elaina enjoyed pickles for the first time and her Christmas gift to mommy
and daddy was that she ate, for the first time, using a spoon and did amazing!
Before that she would just play with it and never try to use it for food.